Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Ensam

7:06 am. I sit in the hotel restaurant eating breakfast on my own. Melancholy music in the background; yoghurt and raisins on my plate. I look around and realize that I have never felt as lonely as I do right now. I am the master of justified escape. I come up with reasons for why I have to move, leave, change, and then I do and I love it and hate it at the same time. I can't help wondering what I am running away from. Is it the fear of being nobody? The fear of being just like everyone else. In order to feel worthy I have to have my own city, my own country, my own continent, my own universe.

Being unique and special takes a lot of effort. It drains you until you don't even have energy to be someone.

3 comments:

Carolin said...

I know what you mean. But n the other hand, I think travelling and moving and exploring can be good for you too :)

Pauspling said...

To a certain extent... :)

Carolin said...

Yeah. I totally know what you mean :)