I am Fukranian. What are you?

I am sitting here, trying to figure out why I haven't heard of any more brilliant compositions like "fugly". Tell me, why aren't people saying stuff like:

- I heard that you once found a rat in your pizza.
- A rat? No man, that's totally a furban legend!

or

- She is incredibly stupid.
- That's the worst funderstatement I've ever heard.

or

- You Russians are all the same.
- You idiot. I am not Russian! I am Fukranian!